another year coming down to an end

I've never been good at New Years Resolutions; I always forget about them, or give up on them.  Maybe January just isn't my month to start changing my life around?  As this year is coming to it's end I find myself reflecting on the last few months and how crazy and messy this year has been; I'm honestly glad to say goodbye to 2011 as these final months fly by me.  Yes, it's only September, but going back to school, working almost full time and having the holidays coming up on top of that it's about to get really busy and really hectic for me so I know these next few months will fly by fast.  I'm so ready for a change; and I fear that if I wait for 2012 to hurry up and get here... I might just go crazy...
 And I mean it, I fear that I am going crazy sometimes.  This year has been a whirlwindy, up and down, scary rollercoaster ride for me; I wont get into details...  I was recently diagnosed with Depression, which I'm sure many of my fellow Portlandians can sympathize with.  Times are tough right now; and I feel like some of the people, places, and things in my life are making my life tougher; I'm not pointing fingers or placing blame, it just is what it is.  I have always loved the quote :

I'm going to be the change I want to see in my own life.  I don't want to be depressed and upset all the time.  Now is the time for me to rise above.  I know enough about the brain that by altering things in my life that I can control I can retrain my brain not to keep going down this destructive path, further into this sickness.  I have good days and bad days.  The good days are awesome and I feel like I can do anything; but the bad days are always coming, and I just have to keep preparing myself with tools to fight the battle.  Tools to help me break away from these stories I tell myself, stories that I get so lost in, so I can come back to reality and work on getting back to my good days.  Tools like sticking up for myself when I need to, meditation, yoga, mindful practices, healthy diet, compassionate communication, education & inspiration, and all around wholesomeness. 

Wish me luck.  :)